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Experimenting with pie charts in OOo: time spent on thoughts on a random day...

The secret of enlargement pills

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… and the chemistry of love^H^H^H^H non-pharmaceutical herbs on the male body

A thought emerged from the conjunction of several pieces:

  1. reading a study about our expanding digital universe (via UF),
  2. considering our daily amount of spam e-mail received and processed by spam filters,
  3. decaying a mixture of thoughts about memes, urban legends, and so-called not-for-kinds pranks ,

and the thought was: given the multitude of offers for penis enlargement pills, there must be at least some offers that fool men into absorbing chemicals with unexpected or humorous side-effects, on top of taking their money without any measurable return on investment — and because they are buried in an ever-growing pile of crap, nobody notices.

And so I searched. I looked at the web sites, selecting those that actually advertise the list of chemicals they use, focusing on those that do not also clarify the role of each chemical. I came short of finding anything worth of a laugh, but the following offer caught my attention: "herbal pills" at $200 (for 6 months).

(I will leave the exact brand and web site address undisclosed so as to not bring them more attention than they deserve.)

When looking up its "active ingredients" on other sources we can find:

  • Vitamin E : effects not well-known,
  • Soya protein concentrate : variable effects effecs on male testosterone, contains a mimicry for estrogens with poorly-understood effects,
  • Mucuna pruriens (a tropical legume also called "velvet bean") : increases libido in men and women, cures Parkinson's disease,
  • Asteracantha longifolia (= Hygrophila auriculata according to GRIN) : used in India as a diuretics and to cure liver diseases (sometimes also as an ingredient for love potions : If a man mixes the powder of the milk hedge plant, and the Kantaka plant with the excrement of a monkey and the powdered root of the lanjalika plant, and throws this mixture on a woman, she will not love anybody else afterwards ),
  • Pueraria tuberosa (a vine also called Kudzu) : reduces both hangovers and alcohol cravings, cures migraine, enjoyed by livestock as forage,
  • Withania somnifera : used as aphrodisiacs, diuretics and for treating memory loss, also used as a sedative,
  • Tribulus terrestris (also known as "goathead") : used to boost sex drive through mild increases in testosterone levels,
  • Albizia Lebbeck (a tree also called "siris") : used as an astringent, to treat boils, cough, to treat the eye, flu, gingivitis, lung problems, pectoral problems, also used as a tonic, to treat abdominal tumors; the bark is used medicinally to treat inflammation and the tree has known psychoactive effects,
  • seeds of Argyrerin speciosa (= "Argyrerin nervosa", also known as Hawaiian baby woodrose ) : known psychoactive effects
  • Valeriana wallichii (a sub-species of Valeriana) : shares effects with valeriana officinalis as a sedative, can also be used as antispasmodic and tranquilliser (some other usage information is also available).

A long story made short? We can see here psychoactive pills that increase testosterone and libido while decreasing anxiety, and possibly act as sedatives… and that are probably addictive: the ideal love pill for women (and possibly men) who want to transform their male partner in an amenable sex toy.

(warning: humor follows)

Conclusion 1: a group of women fed up with the male focus on the size of the penis created a business profitable to them, profitable to women in general, and that would give them a good laugh about how credulous their customers are.

Conclusion 2: under the cover of a fishy pseudo-pharmaceutical industry that uses a canonical male anxiety to drive its business, the whole "enlargement pill enterprise" may be an initiative of the Global Female Conspiracy to drive the male population under their control.

YMMV, but for sure there is no enlargement.


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